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My name is Jennifer Smith Schneider, and I am the student ombuds at USF (usf.edu/student-ombuds). My job is to help students navigate conflict with the University. Students (and family members) can sit down with me and share concerns that they have about USF confidentially (at USF, this level of confidentiality includes EVERYTHING except imminent risk of harm, so just about anything goes). My office operates informally, so students aren’t putting the University on notice when they communicate with me. I don’t keep formal records of conversations – no names or U numbers – but I do track demographic information and the general nature of concerns so I can make University leaders aware of systemic issues that may be affecting our students’ success. Sometimes I coach students in navigating the conflict on their own – we talk about options, both formal and informal, for resolving their concern. Sometimes I engage directly, informally looking into a matter and negotiating resolution. In every case, I listen and try to understand the complex issues that students deal with every day. Being a college student is hard, even when life is simple. And life over the past year has been anything but…. 

My office often hears from family members, and I welcome that. While FERPA is real, and I will always protect the privacy of your student, I truly believe that family members are important partners in student success. It’s hard to watch your child struggle. I know this, because I’m also a mom. I have three children, and two of them are attending other State University System institutions.

I’m often asked how family members can best help their college student succeed and, like the answer to so many good questions, it depends. They’re all so different; blanket strategies simply don’t work when it comes to parenting. 

My oldest – who is a fifth-year senior (he calls it his victory lap), changed his major 3 times, totally withdrew from 2 semesters, and still keeps me up nights – needs reminders about projects, tests and deadlines. He’s brilliant, so high school was very easy for him. He had no idea what hit him when he started college, and getting him to manage his time, study and attend classes was an uphill battle BEFORE everything went remote. I knew the online environment, with all of its asynchronous flexibility, would create extra challenges for him, and I struggle to find ways to appropriately assist him. I toe the line between supporting and nagging, and I’m all too often tempted to step in and take over. I’ll write more about my experience supporting a struggling student in another post. It’s been a heck of a journey, and it’s not over yet. 

My second son is a third-year engineering student, and he's so responsible it’s ridiculous. How were these two humans raised in the same home?? He works so hard that I wonder if he’s putting TOO much pressure on himself. I used to get excited when he’d tell me that he was going to a party, so when Covid shut everything down, and he had even more opportunity to just sit in his room and stress out over impossibly rigorous coursework, I worried. I’m super grateful that he takes his academic responsibilities seriously, but this is time he’ll never get back. Life will never be as flexible as it is right now, and I want him to remember his days at the university fondly. I’ll write more about my experience supporting him later, too. Not because I’m an expert, but because I appreciate hearing from other family members and assume you may also. 

Caring for college students, and watching them struggle, is hard. You, the people who love them most, are essential to their growth and development, but there are some specific, concrete ways you can help them when their experience at USF gets tough. I have so much to share!!! But Tura told me to keep this brief, so I’ll end here for now and pick up again next time. Stay tuned…